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In the last few blogs I have been discussing ways to improve your descriptions by including reports about colors and hearing.

In this post of my blog, I would like to suggest an exercise that will help you to gather more information about describing the five senses in your writing.

Choose a setting

Sit outdoors in your backyard, the park, or just your favorite place. Close your eyes to start with, then as the time goes by, open them for the rest of the exercise. As you sit there, consider what sensations are bombarding you and how you could report those feelings in your writing.

1. First think about taste: Is your mouth/lips wet or dry? What tastes linger in your mouth? Does the setting you picked remind you of foods you have eaten there or somewhere similar?
2. Next consider what you hear: Car noise? Mowers? Sirens? Dogs barking? Describe them – Is the sound of a car like v-room, or is it a purr, or growl? Is the noise of a leaf blowing on the ground: Scraping? Rustling? Whispering? Be as specific as possible in interpreting the noise.
3. It’s time to think about what you are smelling – describe the odor as specifically as possible: Sweet? Fresh? Smoky? Does it bring to mind good things, or not so good things? How do your nostrils feel as they are taking in the smell?
4. Time to open your eyes and describe what you see? What are the colors? What are the objects? The people or animals? Describe them as thoroughly as possible.
5. Lastly, consider what you are physically feeling as you are sitting and observing all the things around you. Again be as specific as possible.

Now take out your notebook and write down all your observations. Take all the notes you have written and write a story or poem about the experience. Great practice for showing not telling.

I’d love to have you share  your experience with this exercise! Feel free to comment below.

Here’s a special story for St. Patrick’s Day. Please enjoy!

Lucky Charm

By Marie Staight

The path, lined with shamrocks standing like soldiers dressed in green uniforms, wandered around the land showing off a variety of greens. I followed its wanderings taking in the ancient stone fences separating patches of fields and fairy-like cottages from one another. At one gate I saw a wash of yellow daffodils waving in the gentle breeze. Beyond the daffodils was a small field of shamrocks. At once I sat down and took off my shoes so that I could romp in the field with bare feet as I had as a youth. As I stepped onto the cloud of green leaves, I heard a squeal. “Oh my, what have I done?” I exclaimed aloud.

I picked up my foot and leaned down to exam what I had stepped on. It was a wizen miniature man dressed in dark green pants and coat. His green bowler hat lay askew on his head as he lay on his side and holding his foot. He had red hair including the most glorious red beard.

“What the heck are you doing walking about on my land – disturbing my nap? Away with ye!” He shouted in a most inglorious way. “Look at my foot!” He said pointing to his red, swollen appendage.  “How am I to get to my pot …” He stopped and looked at me with the most suspicious glare I have ever seen. I stared right back at him wondering if I could have actually stumbled upon a real live leprechaun.

He frowned deeply and growled, “Have you come to try and steal my riches?”

Shocked at what I was seeing and hearing, I shook my head. “N…n …n… no” I stammered.

He harrumphed, staring at me as if to X-ray my thoughts. “Well, I guess I have to believe you.” He reluctantly grunted as he tried to stand. Then he shouted at me. “Don’t just stand there! Help me up! Get me a walking stick! Hurry up there, boy!” His orders came flying at me like arrows at a target. I scrambled to assist him to an upright position, using just the lightest of touch in fear of crushing him otherwise. He leaned against my barefoot and was only tall enough to reach my ankle. “A walking stick, quickly, boy! Hop to it!

I wasn’t quite sure how I could ‘Hop to it’ with him clinging to my foot. But I surveyed the field and saw a twig not far off. “Hold tight on to my ankle, sir, and I will get you that walking stick.” I could feel him clinging to my ankle as if he were a butterfly sitting on my skin. I gingerly took a step; he remained on my ankle. I took another and was able to secure the twig. I saw at once it was much too long for him to use as a walking stick, so I knelt down and measured with my thumb how long a stick he would need. The twig ended in a ‘Y-shape’ thus I fashioned the twig so that he could use it as a crutch. Immediately, the little man grabbed the crutch and scrambled away through the shamrocks.

However, because he was dragging his leg, he left a trail of fallen green soldiers. “Where are you going?” I called out to him. “Perhaps I can help you?”

The leprechaun stopped, stood on his good foot, and lifted the crutch threateningly at me. “Go away!” He waved the crutch warning me off, but as he did so gold stars emitted from the top of the twig. They magically floated in the air, lifting up in the breeze towards a rainbow that had wondrously appeared in the distance.

“Oh, my!” I exclaimed. “Is that your rainbow? Is there a pot of gold at the end of it?”

“No, no, no! You must go away! That’s my riches!” The little man was hopping up and down and brandishing his crutch at me as it continued to emit golden stars into the sky. The golden stars floated upward and melted into the rainbow. The rainbow appeared to grow brighter.

Being rather greedy, I ran towards the rainbow. But the tricky leprechaun pushed off with the newly made crutch into a series of somersaults, arriving at the end of the rainbow in a flash. I, with my long strides, arrived just ahead of him and planted my foot in front of his pot of gold. “Ah Ha! I claim this pot of gold!” I said triumphantly raising an arm skyward.

The tricky little leprechaun plunged the tip of the crutch into my barefoot, making it sting with pain.“Yeow!” I howled as I hopped on one foot. “Why did you do that?”

“People cannot use leprechaun gold, you fool!” Shouted the little man. “It disappears as soon as you touch it.” He glared at me as he watched me hop about on my unhurt foot. I saw his mouth twitch; he bit his lip and stroked his beard as if in thought. “You did help me …” his voice wandered off. He continued to watch me as I sat down in the shamrocks and rubbed my stinging foot. Shiny, small gold stars floated upward from my foot as I massaged it. His eyes followed them as they too melted into the rainbow.

His eyes narrowed. “Alright,” he said. “Even though it was you who stepped on my foot, you were kind enough to help me. And if I were to be fair – you did reach the pot of gold before me…”  He stood next to his pot of gold grudgingly fingering the coins of gold. “I suppose I could at least give you a Lucky Charm.” To my wonderment, he plucked a shamrock that had four leaves on its stem, and with the crutch, touched the leaves. The shamrock turned to into a gold four leaf clover. It then floated up to my neck, and a chain of gold made from the golden stars wound around the lucky charm and went about my neck. “This will provide you with good luck all your life for the good deed you did today.” He said. With that, the little leprechaun disappeared as did his pot of gold. I was left sitting in a field of shamrocks under a beautiful rainbow with the golden lucky charm around my neck. And that is why good luck has followed me ever since.

[I’d love to hear your thoughts about the story. Feel free to comment.]

We talked last week about using colors to enhance your writing descriptions. This week I would like to discuss how you can use sounds to add impact to your descriptions. Any time you use physical sensations to describe things in your writing, you are hitting upon strong reactions from the readers and using sounds is no exception to that.

 

In describing sounds in your writing, try to fit in what your character hears, not that they heard it. Use strong descriptive words to get that across – a chair doesn’t just fall over – it clatters. Using words that sound like that which they are describing – also known as onomatopoeia – can add even more: “The chair clattered to the floor with a bang … bang …BANG!”

 

Think about movie scores. They are a powerful source of emotion to the action on the screen. In movies, you also have the Foley Artist that adds sounds to the action on the screen – perhaps a tinkling of glasses or the sound of shoes scraping along a dusty road – all things that enhance the action. You can do this in your writing too.

1. Natural sounds are perhaps the easiest to include in your writing, such as the sounds of birds calling or leaves rustling. Natural sounds bring the reader into the scene and show the reader where the character is rather than telling them about it.

 

2. Another way of including sounds in your writing is an “expressive sound.” That is altering a normal sound to show how the character perceives the sound. An example might be the ringing of a doorbell that becomes louder and louder in the character’s perception until they are obliged to answer the door. This type of sound increases the tension and shows the character’s anxiety and panic at what is happening in the scene.

 

3. Lastly, sounds can be imagined, also known as “surreal sounds.” Sounds that occur in the character’s imagination – perhaps envisioning the roar of a crowd or classmates that are laughing at them. Writers can show this in their stories to emphasize what is going on in the head of their character.

Use sounds carefully in your writing. Be judicious in using sounds so as not to have the repeated effect be one of triteness. You don’t want to have your writing have a “comic book” effect.

Nevertheless, describing sounds can be a powerful way to connect with your readers about feelings, places, and experiences they have had.

This week as you write, think about including sounds your character might hear – sounds that might have an emotional, symbolic, or significant impact on the character.

I’d love to have you share what you think! Feel free to comment below.

Color, as defined by the Oxford Dictionaries, is: “the property possessed by an object of producing different sensations on the eye as a result of the way the object reflects or emits light.”

Using color references in your writing enhances the impact of your words like no other writing technique. Colors affect the innate sensations that the reader experience – “rosy red lips” has a very different set of visceral reactions to it than “lips bleached white with death.” Our visual imagination becomes very strong when color, especially enhanced with adjectives, metaphors, similes, or a combination of sensations are used to describe parts of our stories such as setting, characters, and actions. Here are four tips for using color references in your writing:

1. Use colors combined with a metaphor or simile to add visual clarity and depth to the setting. Examples of this – “the sky was glowing with reds and oranges like dragonfire in the sunset,” or “Blazing red poppies lined the road like a legion of redcoats waiting to be reviewed by the Queen.”
2. Use colors to set moods such as “The gray-metal clouds reflected the darkness in the house below” or “As I came into the room, I saw the purple rope-like veins pop out on Poppa’s red” These examples help to set the stage for what is to come next – a terror-filled story, or an angry exchange.
3. Use colors to describe characters – “fiery red hair tumbled down her back”; “her eyes were as green as the envy she had of the girl with the yellow hair”; “the rug was as yellowed as her skin.” These examples are all descriptions that subtly influence the reader as to how they perceive what this character is like and how they might act in the story.
4. Using Color combined with other sensations adds a big bang to your descriptions. “ The lily-white snow crunched like firecrackers as I plodded along. A whiff of smoke from the cabin reached out to me and my mouth watered at the thought of the bacon and eggs awaiting me.” The combination of vision, hearing, smelling and taste, bring alive the scene and set the imagination free.

 

Colors are powerful. They are one of the secrets that add pizazz to your writing. They add depth, set a mood, give clues, and subtly shape the readers understanding of what you are writing. Think about adding dashes of color to your descriptions to get deeper visceral responses to your writing.

How do you use the sensations colors represent in your writing? Feel  free to comment below.

One of the original members of the Winter Garden senior writing group I facilitate was Harriet Grimes. Harriet had written a column for the small local paper for many, many years before her retirement. She surprised us all during one meeting declaring that on the upcoming March 3^rd date, we should be celebrating “I Want You to be Happy” Day. She explained to us that she had initiated the day in 1990 because of an incident that had happened with her grandchild.

According to an article written in The Journal Times by Jeff Wilford in August of 2000, Harriet sent in a request to Chase’s Calendar of Events to declare March 3^rd each year as “I Want You to be Happy” Day.

The article explains how it all started: “It started with her grandson, Jason, then 4. He fell out of a tree and broke his arm on March 3, 1990. Grimes took him to the hospital. As they left the hospital, a nurse gave Jason a brightly colored sticker for being brave.

Back at home, Jason’s 5-week-old brother, Justin, started to cry. Jason went over to him, gave him the sticker and kissed him.

“That just went all over me, because he was just a little 4-year-old thinking about someone else,” Grimes says. “I just felt like that unselfish, expecting nothing in return act of love by a little 4-year-old, the world would be a better place if the adults learned from the little ones before the little ones learned from the adults.”

Grimes describes the holiday as a day to show love, care and concern for other people, even if things aren’t so hot for you.”

The Ink and Quill Writing Group had ever since made sure to acknowledge and celebrate this special day. The point of this day is to bring joy to someone, especially if that someone is in distress or hurting. This year our group is writing poems about the day. Here is my special poem that I have dedicated to Harriet.

I Want You to be Happy Day March 3^rd                                        

By Marie Staight

Dedicated To Harriet Grimes

 

It’s such a sweet thing to say,

On ‘I Want You To Be Happy Day.’

There is so many a way

To celebrate and make others gay.

 

A kindness given to others,

For sisters, brothers, fathers, and mothers,

Don’t forget friends and strangers, too

Paying forward a thing or two.

 

Buy a stranger lunch,

Or perhaps flowers in a bunch

For someone you love

Or think the world of.

 

Leave a sticky note

With a happy quote

Tell a joke for a laugh

For others to smile on your behalf.

 

Brighten someone’s life

Relieving them their strife

By greeting them with a snazzy,

“I want you to be happy!”

So mark your calendars and put on your thinking caps! What are you going to do on March third to brighten someone’s day and make them happy?